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15. Oct 2019

‘Love and Romance’, the way I feel it: Hossam (23)

Q. What is love? How would you define it?

Hossam: I would say ‘love’ is something that has to be from inside from your heart. It doesn’t come out very quickly. People who are falling in love has to get to know each other first, they have to know whether they understand each other, they have to know whether they fit to each other, and these ways we can know whether we fit to each other or not, if we love each other or not. But of course, that needs some time. So that’s how I define it actually.

For me love is not only to be together or to go out. Love is also our relation, we have to love so that we can marry. So that we can take the next step. Not only to have fun and that’s it.

Love doesn’t last long for me because there are always some problems, may be because of me, may be because of her, may be because of her parents or may be because of my parents. So love is sometimes complicated.

Hossam: ‘Love is sometimes complicated’.

Hossam: ‘Love is sometimes complicated’.

Q: How many loves you had till now?

Hossam: I had five, but there were two I really loved including the one I am currently engaged with. And the others didn’t last long. For example, my first love was for four or five months, and because of long-distance relationship we broke up. The second one was also for the same reason. She was from Hannover and I was from Weimar. It took me about five hours with the train to go to her and she could not come to me because she is Muslim and she cannot stay at my home, she cannot stay outside after 10 O’clock and so on.

My third relation was for seven months. That was with a Turkish girl. She was atheist. She didn’t believe in God. So I cannot marry someone who doesn’t believe in God. It’s very hard. I want to get kinds, want to build the family according to Islamic religion. So it was a difficult relation.

My current affair is about one year. But we didn’t take any next step for marriage or so on, because I have to first finish my studies at the University and then I can think of it.

Q. What is your famous love quote? Do you read love poems?

Hossam: I don’t have any contacts with these quotes and poems and so on. For me love is from inside, I don’t have to get quotes to show her that I love her. It has to be from inside.

No, I don’t read love poems.

Q. If two persons are in love, does it mean both are very romantic? And what ‘being romantic’ means to you?

Hossam: It’s very hard for me to explain it. But I would say, for me, I am romantic because of my experiences with the girls (I got romantic). With the first one I could not be romantic because I didn’t know what to say, I didn’t know how to show whether I am romantic. Even when I showed, it was not that good to prove that I am romantic.

How you can be very romantic? I think it comes from inside from your heart. If you show her some love and she shows you some love then we start to be romantic, we start to talk about everything, we start to be open to each other. And that can be something romantic, I don’t know exactly.

I think romanticism comes with experiences with time.

Hossam with friends (center): ‘I would say, for me, I am romantic because of my experiences with the girls’.

Hossam with friends (center): ‘I would say, for me, I am romantic because of my experiences with the girls’.

Q. Does the so-called ‘true love’ exist? What is ‘blind love’?

Hossam: True love exists, as I found from my experience. True love is always hard to get, and the problem is when we start to love we do that but we are not married yet. So we don’t know whether we are for each other or not. That’s the problem. So for me as a person, I cannot have this true love because if we are not coming together, if God doesn’t want us to be together, then it’s going to hurt us deeply. We are going to be injured. So I don’t want to feel that feeling. So I will say true love comes after the marriage. That’s what I will say.

About blind love, that’s very hard. I know it’s very hard because that what’s my girlfriend always tells me, “You are my blind love, when I see you I just forget everything. I feel very well with you”. Many people wanted her but she didn’t want any of them. When she saw me, she wanted. She doesn’t know why. I will say that’s blind love.

For me, when I saw her, I felt normal. But after I got to know her, I felt this blind love to her as well.

Q: So now you also feel blind love to her?

Hossam: Of course I feel blind love, but at the same time, I don’t want the true love (so I don’t get hurt at the end). So I am trying to be blind, of course, I am trying to be blind because she is also blind with me. But I am trying to keep some distance – some distance even if it’s a small distance, so if we leave each other in future (if God doesn’t want us to be together), we don’t get that hurt.

Hossam (right): ‘True love exists, as I found from my experience. True love is always hard to get’

Hossam (right): ‘True love exists, as I found from my experience. True love is always hard to get’

Q. Can love be divided into categories?

Hossam: I would say, love can be divided into categories. When you love someone, you can really love her because she bears your kids and you are married. So you have to love her because of your kids, you have to love her because of religion because she is religious. She will bring you to the paradise for example. You can love her because she did many things for you. You can love her because you feel she is the only one who is always there for you. May be because of that you got love.

Q. How to be lucky in love? I mean you get the person you want, make a good life, happy family?

Hossam: Happy in love? You have to be happy with your God and God has to be happy with you, so you can be happy in your life and in your love (I would say that). But because we are always making some mistakes, and we are not perfect, we will never be lucky.

Q. What will happen to you when your love (I mean the person you love) will leave you? Will it have devastating effect on your life? Will you be lost?

Hossam: If she leaves me, then she is the one who is going to lose. Hahahahahaa :-). No I am joking.

But I will say, if she leaves me, of course, I am going to be very injured from inside. I would say, I will not trust my next love very quickly as a consequence. I would always say, that it had happened because I did something wrong, because I did something against God’s will, so it’s from Him and I have to accept it, or may be we didn’t understand each other or she found someone. But even though she has to enjoy her life. I am going to just forget her.

If my love leaves me, of course, it can have devastating effect. But with time I will forget. With time, I will recover from my pain (I hope).

Hossam: My girlfriend always tells me, “You are my blind love, when I see you I just forget everything”.

Hossam: My girlfriend always tells me, “You are my blind love, when I see you I just forget everything”.

Q. Any advice for new lovers and old ones?

Hossam: For the new lovers, before you love you have to be sure that she is the right one for you, that she fits you, fits your family, fits to your level, fits to your religion, fits with you in everything. If you want to love, of course, you can love. But don’t put that much love because if she leaves you, you will be hurt deeply.

I would also say, do not ever trust a girl even she is a very good person, even if she is someone who can be very trusted. May be some day she will change herself. So do not trust. Just keep distance, not distance from love but distance from that she can make anything (and you have to put that in your mind). Even if she doesn’t do that but even though you have to keep that in your mind. You still have to be careful from the girls because sometimes girls can make you lose friends, lose your family. You can lose many things because of love, especially if it drives you blind.

Thank You.

*Hossam(23) is currently at 4th Semester, studying Business Economics in the Martin-Luther University Halle-Wittneberg, Germany. His father is a Professor in Chemistry at the University of Weimar. He loves body-building, he loves girls, spending time with friends. He loves healthy foods. He is a very social guy.

**Download a pdf version of the interview

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